My exploration in life… (diary for baby!)

YEN asked me a few days ago what is the reason that I always choose almost always the same kind of food / drinks, in particular - curry chicken rice whenever we go to Jurong Point.  Is there a particular reason?  Is there something special about its curry?  Is it extra spicy?  Why?  I told her there probably isn’t a good reason, only that I had found something that I liked, and I’d rather stick with it rather than venturing out again for something else.

Well, that is probably my view of life - wanting to play safe nowadays.  Why pick something else when you like this one?  It is probably the same for everything else - even with my relationship with her!  Why risk losing what I have in her when I know that she is the best I have found and I am fine with whatever she stands for.  =)

These days, I’m clamouring harder and harder for us to hire a domestic helper.  There are times that the two of us alone just cannot handle our two young ones.  This is scary as we are looking at the imminent arrival of our third child.  Can we afford it?  I hope.  I am meeting up with the boss of this tuition agency in Jurong West tomorrow to see if I can tie up something with them.  The money will come in handy, really, especially if we do get extra help.

We have been having discussions, on and off, regarding whether we should hire one.  YEN is still not comfortable with the thought of having a stranger sleeping in the house, looking after things and at times, our children.  I told her we have to try, as my mother is, at times, getting on my nerves with her not helping out when we are home during the weekends.  It is not liek we do not bring work home to accomplish.  Well, she just feels that we are home and the children, being ours, should be looked after by us while she curls up in her room and watch TV programmes and sleep.  Sigh.

I felt so guilty that I dropped FELIX the last weekend at my mother-in-law’s.  How did it happen?

I went to fetch my her from work with my wife and children at Plaza Hotel, where she works as a cashier at a restaurant there.  We proceeded to get lunch in Bedok Central before going over to her place.  I wanted to let her carry FELIX at first after carry him off the car, but she was occupied with RACHEL, so I carried him instead.

We approached the void deck of her block of flats together, with me walking slightly behind them.  I was occupied with playing with FELIX and also the fact that I had noticed that there was some notice pasted at the lift area.  That was one of the reasons why I had missed seeing the stone stool jutting out the middle of no where beside the stone table at the void deck.

The stool was short and in ‘no-man’s land’.  That was the second time I walked into it, injuring my right shin in the process while carrying my baby.  The first time was when I carried RACHEL but luckily, I managed to hang on to her and did not drop her.  FELIX was not so lucky this time, as I lost him from my arms.  As a result, he wailed after hitting the back of his head on the floor.

My mother-in-law and my wife was quite worried about me when all I was worried about was how FELIX was.  I am really scared that it would injure him big time.  Luckily for us, he had not shown any adverse effect from the fall this past week and has been continuing in his learning to walk.  He is more steady walking now, though he still suffers from the occasional fall on his bums after a few steps.

RACHEL, on the other hand, was kept at home last week due to her illness and was back this week.  It was difficult for her to settle in again after the week’s absence.  Luckily for us, she had gradually improved over the week and is nearly back to her old self at the play-school by Friday.  A teacher from the play-school said that they plan to toilet-train a couple of children, RACHEL included, who are moving on to the ‘Nursery’ group from the ‘Junior Toddlers’.  YEN and I have deliberated for a few months how best to do that and hope that this training will work.

RACHEL is still slowly ‘finding her feet’ at speaking, surprising me with new phrases she had learnt every once in a while.  The latest one was ‘Daddy, where are you?’.  I was elated when I heard that!

YEN and I were lying on the bed last night with RACHEL, teaching her things and reading to her.  She noticed that we totally ignored little FELIX as we were telling RACHEL that mummy is having another baby, a sister.  This left FELIX walking around the edges of our bed on his own.  To his credit, he did not make any noise about being left out.

YEN remarked that we could be starting to have the “middle child syndrome” running in our family already, where we leave the middle child out on a lot of things, forgetting him when we tend to the oldest and youngest children.  No, it isn’t done on purpose, really.  Well, I must make an effort not to leave him out of things we do.

I bade goodbye to my class today, hoping that they would really study heard in the next few days that they needn’t attend school due to the PSLE Marking.  The year’s finally drawing to a close, and memories with this class - being my first ever since I started teaching - will probably remain etched in my heart.  There are points to learn from and things where I could have done better at, but I’m quietly glad that the year is drawing to an end, finally, while feeling sad about not going to have them under my wings anymore.

I was thinking about what I can do in the coming days after their examination with them.  Hopefully, I can do meaningful and fun things with them in the remaining days!

We were very happy yesterday when FELIX finally took his first baby steps - standing and walking a few steps on his own.  It was about time, before he turned fourteen months old!  It could have come sooner, but it had finally happened!

On the other hand, RACHEL fell ill again.  It was a continuation from her diarrhoea in the past weekend, and it just went on to her fever these couple of days.  Medication had helped bring down the temperature, but it seemed only for a couple of hours as her temperature would rise again, after the effect of the medicine wears off.  Her fever has not completely been cured, and we are keeping her away from play-school these couple of days…

My own fever is peaking.  No, not my illness, I mean the climax of the shool year - the examinations have began with their composition writings today.  I have began marking some of the P4 students’ work and will be going to mark some of my class’ students’ work later.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed…

The recent Children’s Day turned out to be a not very happy one for us at home when RACHEL had a bout of bad cough and some difficulties in breathing.  That gave us a scare as the hopital wanted to admit her.  This is what happened…

Thinking that it would be a good rest for me and that we could take a much needed one, we were glad when the holiday came.  But at night, RACHEL was coughing quite badly and we sent her to NUH’s Children’s Emergency Department to have a look by the doctor.

It turned out that they gave her some treatment on the spot - letting RACHEL breathe in some medication via a gas mask.  Our princess was, of course, not receptive to it and cried big time whenever the mask was to be put in front of her face for the medication to be administered.

It went on for a few times (the mask-thing) and when the doctor checked on her again, found that she was breathing very fast and there was a ‘wheezing’ sound in her lungs when she breathed.  He recommended that we admit her for the night, possibly longer if she was not going to be well enough soon.

At this point, like any parent would normally, I was very reluctant to let her stay.  Though I wanted my girl to recover, I could just anticipate the tantrum she would be throwing and that it would take a struggle for her to get settled down.  As parents, we would need to be by her side (though only one is needed) and I could just see the inconvenience as YEN is pregnant and needs rest; I could ill-afford to take leave as the examinations are nearing.

While we were waiting for them to settle the administrative portion of admitting her, we played with RACHEL, who was by then more settled into the place (of course she was oblivious of her impending admission), and started to play with us.  She somehow just didn’t feel tired at three in the morning though she did not sleep at all on the way to the hospital.

Luckily for us, her running around and playing with us actually improved her condition that when the doctor listened to her, her breathing seemed fine and there was no more ‘wheezing’ sound in her lungs.  The doctor then cancelled the instruction for admission and told us that we could go, giving RACHEL a review in a week.  It was nearing half-an-hour past four when we reached home, and RACHEL fell asleep only at five-plus…

YEN went for a scan yesterday after her fourth month into her pregnancy - and the doctor found no indication that the baby’s male.  YEN asked me earlier if I had a preference to the gender of our third child - I told her ‘long as the baby’s born healthy, I have no preferences’.  I mean, the child is a gift, long as health is given to the baby, what more can we ask for??

We can start name-hunting for her now.  Noting that RACHEL and FELIX both have the letters ‘E’ and ‘L’ in their names, YEN suggested ‘ELIZABETH’ or along that line…  Well, it definately was not on purpose that it turned out their names bore those two letters, so I told her that it was fine even if the name bore no resemblance to anyone’s in our family.  I mean - RACHEL and FELIX was not meant for anything else other than their meanings too…

RACHEL developed a bad cough today.  She had been coughing every other minute.  =(  Not sure how to stop it.  Sigh…

RACHEL has learnt how to address YEN.  Instead of ‘Mummy’ which we had been trying to get her to say, she is addressing YEN as ‘Ma1 ma’.  She does so forcefully sometimes, and is extremely adorable when she does that.  Her understandable vocabulary has grown substantially since she started play-school.  We are thinking of sending FELIX via the same route RACHEL took.

Our concern is that at thirteen months, FELIX is yet to be able to stand for a prolonged period on his own and is not able to really chew and swallow solid food to well.  Hopefully, he will do all that and walk / run in the coming few months.  In February, YEN’s expected to deliver our third child then and we look at sending FELIX to play school about then.

I really must take my hat off to YEN.  Not only is she juggling work and other areas, but she is almost always there for our children.  This is especially evident every night as our two precious ones have to be cuddled to sleep and they do not want me to do that - they’ll only cry harder if I tried to.  I count my blessings that I have known and married this extremely capable lady who is very forgiving and loving too, among her other good characteristics.  I am glad she chose me.  =)

Work is piling, as usual.  I am currently trying to take a few students from my class to give them a crash course on the basics of the English language.  They are willing to learn, but just not motivated enough to do so on their own, I guess.  I’m trying to see if it will bring any change in their results later.  While teaching them the basics, I have been able to pick up some useful things which I have forgotten too.  So it is good that I’m spending these times with them.

Our new nickname for RACHEL is ‘Tantrum girl’.  She throws tantrums very frequently nowadays, whenever she doesn’t get what she wants.  She goes to the extent of doing so in public places, lying on the floor in foodcourts and kicking her legs, all these while wailing at the top of her lungs.

Sigh.  We’ve witnessed many a fights between our two children too.  FELIX would move towards whatever new that makes sounds and catches his attention, mostly when his sister is playing with the toy.  When this happens, our princess would start crying even before FELIX touches her or her toy.  Sometimes, FELIX gets near enough and is too fast for her, and she would scream while pushing him away.  Looking after them and separating them when they play is sure tiring.

On their own, they are adorable angels.  I have spent time alone with either child and have fell in love with them further.  But when they are together, it’s a different story…  gosh.  I can hear RACHEL’s piercing screams now.  My mum brought the two children downstairs to the playground and from home at the fourteenth floor, the screams are sure audible…

I brought my class on a social studies field trip today to Kampong Glam in the Beach Road / Arab Street area.  It was a trip with few incidents, quite enjoyable and I really learnt quite a little too, due to the knowledgeable tour guide we had to our group.  The biggest incident must be this boy from my class not getting to the washroom in time and ’s**ting’ in his pants.  Being his form teacher, I had to help him wash them off his shorts.

I was glad the empathy shown by the class that after I told them in their small groups of the situatuon faced by their unfortunate classmate, they listened and did not laugh at him, nor did they mention that he was ’smelly’.  I’m really heartened by this.  =)  Looks like the children can be taught if they want to learn.

This week is supposed to be the school holidays.  Many would think that teachers and children alike are taking a week’s rest.  Nope, not our school.  Other than Monday, which was Teachers’ Day anyway, teachers had to go back for the rest of the weekdays.  Staff meeting was on Tuesday, and we had to conduct extra remediation classes for the next three days to weak students.

Not that I think it is not required, but how much can we do in the three days, I wonder?  Also, it is just for three hours a day, with a twenty-minute recess embedded into the timetable each day.  Students who come without the correct attitude will learn nothing at all, I feel.

And that’s not all.  The management feels that results for the past five years have dipped yearly.  They want all teachers to help make a difference, whether we are teaching primary six classes or not.  So we were made to commit for the next month until their PSLE examinations, our time, be it weekday nights or weekends.  We will be rostered to teach weaker students.

Not that I am complaining.  But again, I say, they will waste our time if their attitude is wrong in the first place!  I hope very much that results will take a turn, for everyone’s sake.

At home, RACHEL is showing more of what she had learnt in play-school.  She was ‘caught’ singing rhymes quite a few times, but stopped short when she discovered that we knew sometimes.  She is able to recognise more letters and numbers, and can tell us the ’R', ‘A’ and ‘C’ of her name when we write them to her.  She recognises ‘apple’ when she sees it on the telly.

FELIX is learning how to walk.  He is still not as strong in the legs and needs to hold onto things or people.  Somehow, he sometimes ‘irks’ RACHEL and ’scares’ her with his screams at her.  And poor RACHEL cries when she is being screamed at!  =(

Ever since I met and got married with YEN, I felt that my life had changed for the better, somewhat.  Sure, my father passed away then, and that was one of the biggest lows in my life so far, but we started dating after that and I definitely cannot blame her for that!

I feel this way as many good things have came our way since we have got together.  I had never won any money in 4D, Totos and such, and I had a close brush after we collected our MARCH three years back.  We were advised to buy its registration number and we did so for the fun of it.  However, I did not persevere and stopped after a couple of luckless weeks.  Needless to say, as cruel as life is, my previous registration plate number opened as first prize in the one of the next weeks that followed.

Of course, I attribute the fact that my family has been holding out happily till this day, with many thanks to my lovely wife.  She has given me two lovely children, with a third one on the way.  Last night was another example of good luck, probably brought about because of my lucky star.

I had never won anything in lucky draws in life.  Not top prizes, not consolation prizes, not mini-consolation prizes, zilch.  Nothing.  My lucky is a blank when it comes to winning of prizes due to luck.  But it is probably changing, starting last night, at the Teachers’ Day Appreciation Dinner.

Last year, I won a prize as one of the five best-dressed teachers, based on the theme of ‘Retro’.  That part was partly my wife’s work too, giving me suggestions on what to wear and things like that.  Lucky draw-wise, think I didn’t win anything.  Not last night.  The theme for last night was ‘Hollywood / Bollywood night’.  I dressed as ‘Dick Tracy’ (from the fame of the same titled movie in 1990) and wowed my colleagues.

I won as the best-dressed male teacher.  Other than that, I won, by luck, the second prize of the lucky draw.  The prize was a diamond pendant that I had not seen, and will collect next week as I return to school for meeting during the one-week break.  This is going to spur me on to buy my new registration car plate number until we win something.  Hey, perhaps I should just continue to buy it for as long as we have the car!  =)

RACHEL seems to understand more and more of our language as we communicate with her.  This past week, she surprised us with the word ‘apple’ as she was watching te VCD on ‘Paddington Bear and his alphabet treasure hunt’.  She is just a joy to watch most times.  FELIX is still learning things that he should know, slowly, and hopefully surely.  YEN is into the fourth month of her pregnancy.  It’ll be a month more until we know the gender of our third child.  =)