My exploration in life… (diary for baby!)

I applied for a day’s leave at the eleventh hour.  I wanted very much to see how RACHEL would do at the play school and ease her in if I could.  So she went for her first day at school on the 24 March, 2008.  I thoroughly understand what parents mean when they say they are worried about their children’s first day of school.

I’m not sure if it was because she sensed her going to school that she behaved a little differently the past week.  She is normally a good walker - walks obediently and quietly by our sides without making any "complaints" since she started walking.  However, it changed the past week - she wanted to be carried when we went out with her.  She would tug at my shorts by my side, reaching up both hands to show us she wished to be carried by us.

YEN and I had to take RACHEL and FELIX to the Immigration Checkpoints Authority situated next to Lavender MRT station to collect our children’s passports.  We couldn’t find parking, so we went to Bugis Junction to park the car and take an MRT down to do so.  I carried RACHEL on the way to ICA, and YEN coaxed her to walk for a while on our way back in the station.  It was at Lavender that RACHEL was trying to board the train and missed the step, almost getting caught in the space between the platform and the train.  Luck would have it that a passer-by managed to grab RACHEL before she got stuck!  I was carrying FELIX in my arms and I couldn’t do anything at that moment.  What a scare for us!

Back to yesterday, RACHEL woke up with us and didn’t give anyone any problems all the way there.  I accompanied her in the school to wait for their breakfast, and she only cried when the teachers in the school tried to talk to her.  At breakfast, she refused the cereal they gave as it was foreign to her.  We got biscuits for her instead and she ate them heartily.

She did manage to be coaxed to play on her own with the toys there, but my heart breaks whenever I see her bawl.  School, is indeed, a stressful place, both to the child and the concerned parent, make no mistake of that.  YEN is on leave this week and she hopes to ease RACHEL into the place.  I only hope that she get used to the place and things sooner, rather than later…

I’m really feeling apprehensive that we will be sending our little princess to play-school next week.  YEN is on leave the next week and should be able to afford some time to stay at the school with her for the first few days.

I’m feeling kind of afraid, but recognise that this might be of of the faster ways for her to get to know more people to develop her social skills, as well as having to start her deveoping her linguistic skills.  I just feel bad thinking of the amount of crying it will take her to get used to the new place.

The new term with my form class started today.  I got off to a more business-like tone to their learning as I wanted to impress upon them that I’m pulling no stops to try ensure their improvement.  I hope they get the message, and not just only momentarily.  Hopefully, this sets the correct tone for them to learn until at least the end of the year that they are with me.

A lot of the teachers in my school are feeling tired , and it’s only this early in the year.  We’re not tired over teaching students, but the other things that come along with the job.  Sigh…

YEN and I have been thinking about it for a few months - whether or not to send RACHEL to a play school.  The whole idea is to lessen my mother’s burden when she struggles with household chores and care for our little prince.

I had always been against that idea, for fear that she will be bullied by the teachers or playmates there as she is unable to vocalise what she wants and means.  I imagine that she would be throwing tantrums most times and could be "punished" more often than not.  I definitely do not want that.  Also, I’ve heard stories of how they are bathed - lined up to go under the shower one by one so as not to watse time - perhaps akin to how little pigs or animals get to be cleaned…

On the other hand, I have got many parent-friends who encourage us to send our children (at least RACHEL, for now) so they get to learn to play with others, to fend for themselves, to learn more at a faster rate than now.  My HOD, CATHERINE, had always recommended Montessori and that got me interested, but the cost was the thing that especially held us back.

YEN was considering in the recent months this place next to SGH called The Little Skool-House.  We finally visited this morning to see what it was like.  We got to speak to one of the caregivers and got a brochure for the place.  She told us that there was an open house of the school this Saturday.  I think we will visit to see more on Saturday.

We know it’ll be difficult to want to leave RACHEL there at first.  She is sure going to cry a lot there.  In the first place, it’ll be difficult to get her to wake up for it…  =(

I don’t know if I should feel sad or find RACHEL adorable - I came home a little earlier one day last week after school and played with RACHEL in the living room.  This was what happened - she was holding on to this bear (which is wearing a X’mas hat) and I was coaxing her to plant a kiss on ‘daddy’.  She responded, but kissed the bear instead of me!  =(

I should feel very bad…  but just yesterday, we were sitting in the living room with YEN around too.  Out of a sudden, she leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek.  Yippee!  =)  Well, I tried getting her to repeat that, but she wouldn’t do it again…  I don’t know what to make of it…

The school holidays has begun.  A long awaited break, this is.  However, short it will be as I have been asked to attend a two day Character Development seminar at Republic Polytechnic and have to look into marking plus planning for the next term as soon as I can.  Sigh, such are the demands I am facing.  I cannot do a slipshod job of teaching as it is the futures of these young children in my class I am handlingm I know…

We realised sometime ago that FELIX has a set of rather different palm lines / marks.  His palm lines are really set deep and makes his palms appear to pull his fingers together and he being not able to stretch his palms wide fully.  I’m not too sure if it’s true.  Perhaps we’ll know only when he is a little older and if it’ll cause him any problems with his daily activities later.

So FELIX is 6+ months and RACHEL is 21+ months.  What really worries us is that RACHEL has not really spoken a word that we understand.  I’m not going to say that she doesn’t speak; she’s talkative.  However, it’s in a language none of us can comprehend.  YEN blames herself for not being able to spend too much time with her as we are busy with the hustle and bustle of life - grappling with the frantic pace of work and all.  I will have to take that blame too!

We are now trying to entice her to speak by using various methods we can and getting as many tools that might help us.  RACHEL’s doctor said we might have to send RACHEL to a chid psychologist or a speech therapist if she doesn’t start talking by two.  And FELIX - he bearly turned himself over from lying on his back to his front.  Again, the doctor said it is a little slow and he may also have to seek help from a physiotherapist.  Sigh - we really wonder if we have been really poor parents to them and failed to teach them enough…  =(