My exploration in life… (diary for baby!)

Yesterday was my first day at ZHANGDE PRIMARY SCHOOL (ZPS).  I do hope that it is a fresh new start, unlike the unhappiness experienced in NAN HUA.  Frankly, I know very little of the school except that it is near SGH and that it had just shifted from its old site a few years ago.

Well, the school compund, at least, looks promising.  It has an outdoor basketball court, an attached midium-sized court (which I found out that was a volleyball court), a football field, a fitness station, a dance room (I haven’t seen this one), assembly area fit for two classes for PE and a school hall (half the size of the one in NAN HUA) that had markings for three badminton courts or two indoor volleyball courts.

I was very impressed by the facilities already as it promises quite a bit of space for physical activity.  But wait, before I was happy too soon, I remembered to check the PE equipment room for the stuff in there.  Alas!  I should have known - it couldn’t be such a perfect setting!  The school had not a lot of equipment like balls…  I hope they had been locked and hidden away??

The HOD PE was not around yesterday morning, and I was told that neither any of the other teachers in the PE committee was.  Thus, I joined the English Department for their meeting.  They seem nice enough, though I had to listen in to try understand what they were speaking about.  But just by looking at the structure of the school and its rooms, the relatively big area for teachers’ cubicles - seem promising enough for a good stay in the school.

I was told that my timetable was still being finalised at the moment and I would not know which levels / classes, much less the session, that I would be teaching.  During lunch, I got acquainted with a few more teachers.  They told me that I could be their Discipline Master as the previous one has just left.  I told them I wouldn’t mind just starting to learn the ropes by joining the Discipline Committee to begin with.  They were glad that I did not reject the idea form the start and commended the attitude I had.  Ha, such a contrast from NAN HUA…

Our little Princess has been starting to walk, and improving at that.  I counted her taking seven steps and YEN counted nine steps later.  This morning, it was a good twelve steps!  Really glad to witness her grow and mature with the passing days!  =)

Yesterday - 25 May 07 - saw the end of our two-year course in Dip Ed (PE) in PESS, NIE.  These two years had been tough for me, but it was probably a good scene for my transition from my previous job to civilian life.  Though I hadn’t done too well and achieved what I intended to (which was to do the best I could in the course), I have achieved in other ways - I’ve known a group of great people, younger and older…

We spent the last two weeks in NIE, after our teaching practice, listening to what they called "enrichment programmes".  It was actually surveys most of the time, presentations from "crappy" presenters (less two interesting ones), and a reunion for us to proceed to the MPH for games between / after lectures.  A few of us made the most of the time we had as I think we would hardly have the chance to do sports once we go to our new schools.

I take this space here to, for the umpteenth time, thank all my course mates for their help rendered over the two years.  I have learnt much from them, and widened my vision in life.  I thank you, especially ROZALI, ANDRE, ADRIAN, YONGSHENG, JIANWEN, VANESSA, SHIREN, SHAWN, KAIXIN, ERIC, RACHEL, LYNN, EMILY, FAIZAL, THOMAS, EDMUND, CHRISTOPHER, HADI, JABBAR, ALFIAH, MARCUS, NICHOLAS, WEIQIANG, NURAH, ZHIWEN, MARIE, LAP YIN…  think I might as well list everyone here!  =P  We move on to our new schools now, but I do hope we will continue to keep in contact.

YEN’s doing ok at her work, I think, after improving from her habitual "last-minuteness" in preparing the past Thursday’s presentation; and I’m glad that she feels she did well with it!

At home, I’m glad at the way things go - RACHEL has grown six teeth (three each on upper and lower lip).  She is walks more steadily now (though it is still that few occasional steps she takes), and crawls very fast, very excitedly to welcome us when we return home if she is in the living room.  Really look forward to the time when she can hold meaningful conversations with us…  =)

19 May 2007 marks the first birthday of our precious little princess.  We held a little celebration for a group of 60+ family, relatives and close friends at our humble little lodge between 1 to 4pm.  Had a buffet meal for all (the caterer was quite well-received) and a 4kg-cake to mark the occasion.  RACHEL probably did not understand what went on, but she will in the future and we’ll have pictures and a video to show her a little on what happened that day.

Was reviewing myself and life the past week or so.  After the many incidents I have experienced in recent months, I realised that I have grown to become this person that sticks by the written rules and unwritten moral values in life.  No, I’m not saying that it is not good.  What I realise too is that I assume that everyone else should see things the way they are, and feel very disappointed with others when they do not.  I’ve grown to be this unforgiving person who does not hesitate to pour scorn on others who do not abide by rules / good values.

I gave LAP YIN a lift to VICTORIA JUNIOR COLLEGE for our enrichment programme before graduating as full-fledged teachers.  We were there early and we spoke quite a bit over breakfast.  I asked him for his views on me and he told me that he felt I was a very helpful person, but may meet many obstacles in life due to my "hot-headedness".  People who did not have the opportunity to know me well enough might neglect the finer points I can value-add, but, instead, focus on their first impression they have of me - this person who can speak loud and is too task-oriented that people might dislike.

He shared that I should, perhaps, take a step back to "see the bigger picture" before I reacted angrily to things that did not work in my way.  I agree that I should look at myself and rethink how I should start off my career in the new school that I’m going to.  I look back and this might explain why I met so many obstacles in my teaching practices earlier, and I had not shown enough commitment to work and work well with people around me then.

But it is rather difficult to suddenly pull myself out of these shoes I’ve been wearing for a few years.  I’ll try my best, though.  Must remind myself to be very respectful of everyone else around and be forgiving in life…

As YEN and I gladly gear towards our princess’ first birthday celebration, we are saddened too by the news that my fellow trainee teacher has been unfortunately killed in a camp they decided to hold overseas.  His death made it to the TV, papers and radio.  Sigh, poor guy…

It has been great meeting up again with my coursemates of nearly two years, to catch up with old times after a 10-week break from each other, and to share our experiences we had in the recently-concluded teaching practice.  After these two-week enrichment programme together, we will part permanently as we are posted to different schools.  Let’s hope we can keep in contact and continue to share our joys and sorrows in the years ahead!

I have this habit of tuning in to Class 95FM radio station whenever I drive.  And I sing-along to any song I know (whether I enjoy them or not!).  Sometimes, I amaze YEN with the amount of songs I seem to know / have heard, as I would be able to sing-along to some songs the moment I hear their openings / interludes.  This is the result of years of "training" I had when I was in secondary school, listening to the radio whenever I could (when I was off the field / courts!), memorising lyrics by singing-along to songs…  if only I was that hardworking when it came to books!  I would have scored very very well for my examinations if I had done the same for the facts and figures in textbooks!  Ha!

EDMUND called FAIZAL on Wednesday afternoon to ask if we had received the posting letter from MOE.  We were surprised as we thought the notification of our posting would be made known to us only after our teaching practice.  He told us that it was sent via "snail mail" and asked us to check our post boxes.

I have received mine - to ZHANGDE PRIMARY SCHOOL.  It was where I had requested to go to.  Hope it would be a bright new start to my chapter of this new job.  I received some news too that FAIZAL has been posted back to NAN HUA, SUMIKO to KEMING, ADRIAN and VANESSA to JURONG WEST PRIMARY, ROZALI to MACPHERSON PRIMARY, EDMUND to CHIJ, KAIXIN to EDGEFIELD PRIMARY, etc.  Wish all well for the posting!

It is just a week-plus away from RACHEL’s first birthday!  She took her first steps a few nights ago on 7 May.  =)  Though she had been reluctant to walk more these next few days, we wait with baited breath for her to continue doing so soonest!

First things first - YEN went for a scan earlier in the week and she conveyed the doctor’s words / findings to me - she seems terribly tired and not well-rested.  It’s all my fault - not waking up in the night when RACHEL cries (she does so almost every night now, we’re not sure why…  nightmares??).  Then again, even if I do wake up and try to pacify her, allowing YEN to rest through, RACHEL cries at the sight of me (ok, maybe I exaggerate here - she cries as I try to carry her in my arms in late night).

I was told that there might be complications if it (YEN not being well-rested) goes on.  Think I will try to speak to my mum, the only other person at home who RACHEL will not cry when carried by at night), to help us more…  sigh…  Much as I want to help relief YEN of the pressure she faces from work and home, I find myself really helpless here.

I look at the brighter side - teaching practice is ending next week.  Though I do not wish to leave the students (excluding the P3 PE classes I teach! - they give me hell!), especially students whom I taught during my first teaching practice and the well-behaved ones now, I cannot help it.  The situation I face in NAN HUA is really a little over-bearing - with my clashes with certain persons in the staff population.  No one ever said it is going to be an easy job, especially when human beings, animals of feelings, pride and prejudice are involved.  Once some people form a judgement on you, it’s really hard to change their minds about how they see you.

I won’t score well for this teaching practice, this I know.  Though it was my intention to score as well as I could, the many obstacles in my way just didn’t allow me to.  Now, I just look forward to going to a new school and start teaching proper.  Perhaps, things will turn out to be better then.  But how do you know people in the new school I’m going to join do not know people from NAN HUA, and have already heard unbased allegations about me?  I can only cross my fingers that everything, most importantly my mom, wife, RACHEL, unborn baby, EDDIE, HUIJUN and friends are going to be healthy and well.  After that, maybe things are not as important…