My exploration in life… (diary for baby!)

It was sometime last week - we were dead tired and lying in bed to catch our forty winks…  For reasons of comfort then, I was lying with my back facing my wife, and she was hugging me in that position.  As I was drifting off to sleep, I heard YEN chuckling…  I asked aloud what was the matter?  And YEN replied - she was dreaming of making fun of me…  Ha!  How adorable is that!  I love my wife!  ={}

We visited KEMING PRIMARY SCHOOL last Friday - that’s where some of us will be teaching P.E. lessons for the first time in our teaching career (that’s me!).  The school seems to have a strong P.E. culture, a very supportive P.E. Head of Department and where better to learn from than the top student from NIE from P.E. who is in the school now?!

After that, we went back to NIE (though it was a one-week semester-break for us) to get some volleyball practice.  And boy did we practice!  Four hours of volleyball, from eleven-plus in the morning, till four/five-plus in the evening, with minimal breaks in between!  I’m not good at the game, but slowly, I think I’m improving (albeit at a snail’s pace!)…  And yes! - I unknowingly (do we call this reflex action?) jumped up and completed two good spikes recently!  That was really encouraging!  =)

YONGSHENG and I went to ROZALI’s place in BUKIT PANJANG on Saturday morning to read stories to ROZ’s children - as part of requirement for our English module project.  It was a real experience too as it was our first time reading to children that young - ages 6 and 7.  They were really shy too…  we caught the process on the video camcorder YEN just bought me (to record our unborn child’s entrance to this world later!) and it will be a gift to ROZALI and his family for them to remember their times too!

I am on a 1-week term break (they call it "study-week") and accompanied YEN to SGH for her scan on Thursday (YEN’s on leave this week too, but sadly, I have not been able to accompany 100% of my time due to many assignments due soon).  Our baby is 24-week-old already!  It is just amazing to see the baby in her stomach (in a "bridged-position" - almost vertical across her stomach), seeing the evidence of the tiny heartbeat present…  and yes! - the baby is making a handsign at us - a number seven with one of her hands (got to ask her if it meant anything when she grows up)!

I’ve been meeting with JIANWEN a couple of times for our discussion of a P.E. lesson plan.  You see, we are going to KEMING PRIMARY SCHOOL for microteaching lessons (thrice) and we are going to be teaching the same primary six class (he teaches them a day before me).  We even studied anatomy together on one afternoon and the subject finally made some sense now!

I have to accord my thanks and admiration for EVELYN, my project-mate here.  She really put lots of effort for her part in the presentation we made to our facilitator, and everyone is the group was so impressed with her!  But the downside of things after the presentation was finding out that our facilitator of the past six / seven months only knows the names of a couple of us (out of twenty).  I mean - you’d expect a teacher to know all your students, right??

My good buddy of a friend STEVEN had left for DOWN UNDER earlier this month.  We connected (though he is a couple years my junior) during the days we were in my last unit in the SAF, and it was all thanks to him, DORA. and S1, who allowed me to work with less stress and a lot more fun in my ten years there.  There presence and friendliness allowed me to leave SAF a happier man than I was then (I am always serious with work and had little chance of play).  Miss the fun times then, but still, I’m glad I moved on.  Looking forward to every chance STEVEN returns so that we can meet up and talk again!

YEN is five months-plus pregnant, but she sure doesn’t look the part!  The tummy has not grown too much, though I can tell you that there IS somewhat bigger in size than before.  Just told her to be very very careful in places where the floors are wet (e.g. toilets).  I made a mental note that I will try to always be around to hold her hand when I can (not that I have the best sense of balance!).

Got to know great news that my friend and ex-colleague (that I knew from Industrial Attachment about ten years back!), SHIRLEY, is going to be a mother again!  And her expected delivery date is about a month after YEN’s.  This will be their second child, the first one being a baby girl.  Her husband used to be a senior of the same course of study during our Polytechnic days, which I got to know one the day of their wedding dinner!

Ms PATRICIA KOW, a lecturer at NIE in Language, is currently teaching us in our tutorial group in communication skills.  She is petite and her voice is quite soft - I can’t make out what she try to tell us most times during class when the rest of the class is busy practicing their spoken English.  And it definitely doesn’t help that most of the class are my classmates from the PE side - no wonder some people think that all PE teachers are rowdy!

Back to Ms KOW - she is a really nice lady who takes lots of efforts in teaching us.  I approached her a few weeks ago to ask for help with the International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA) and the sounds.  Explained to her that I understood hanyu pinyin better as I learnt that from young, and that IPA symbols seem alien to me!  Guess what - she was so excited the next day when we chanced upon each other in the canteen and she showed me a piece of paper that she tried to translate the IPA sounds to hanyu pinyin for me!  What a nice gesture!  Think we do her injustice when we fail to read as instructed after her class…  She seemed exasperated last week and I went forward with a few who stayed behind to talk to her after her lesson - turned out she hoped that we, PE trainee teachers, being the majority of the class (like 20 out of 25 or so), will do better to include the quiet second language trainee teachers in the same class.  I made a mental note too, to do that in the lesson later…

We had concluded the traditional dance portion of the dance module.  The finale of that part was a mid-term written test, where there was simply too much, in many of our opinions, to study for!  We tried our best to prepare for it - ANDRE, ROZALI and I even met up with ADRIAN at his place late at night to study for it…  So now, the second part of the module is "creative dance" , taught by Mrs Goh.  We didn’t think the best of each other in the past, I guess, over some incidents during our curriculum gymnastics last semester, but I have to say that her first lesson last week began to change our impression of her.  She seemed to be a nice lady, totally different from what our impression (okay okay, at least MY impression!) of her earlier… Hope that this good start we have with her lessons will continue for the rest of our lifes in NIE!

I think I did not write about this post I sent to my course mates exactly a week earlier - a "not-so-nice" sounding one to ask for all forty of us to "stand up and be counted".  The mail came as a result of frustration on my end as not too many of them seemed wanting to volunteer their services when we are required to.

I knew this post I published in our YAHOO! GROUP will definitely not please everyone and will create controversies.  Friends know that I won’t mind to speak my mind and play the role of the "bad guy" when there’s a need for one, to knock everyone on their heads as a wake-up call.  Sure, some may even fall out with me over that post.  But I wasn’t in NIE to run for a popularity contest, nor to be the person who wins the most friends…

I’ll have to say that people did step forward to volunteer their services for a couple of events after my post.  But the post sure did leave a sour taste in their mouths.  If people were to misunderstand me, I usually let them.  I normally try leaving this option as a last resort, though, when I am placed in a position of authority.  I just was too frustrated this time…

The committees for the residential camp was formed successfully without the need for my intervention, which shows that we have actually capable persons who can stand in front of the class to lead them to make decisions.  EDMUND and THOMAS spoke to me during lunch after the events and offered that I should probably relief the position of the Class Rep for my own good (and so that I can have more time to my wife and unborn baby too).  I think it is a good idea too. But it may have to happen only after this semester, I think.

The one-week term break is approaching the week after next.  But it won’t be providing us too much time for a rest as assignments are already lined up for us.  And we may be having a track-and-field workshop by Associate Professors C.KUNALAN and STEVEN QUEK.  This came as a result of our request, as our cohort will not be taught this module as it was not in the plan for us.  We will have to go through CURRICULUM GYMNASTICS and DANCE modules as they will be taught in primary schools, but left out track-and-field.  We argued that it was not a smart decision as we will be viewed upon as specialists in the sporting-arena and schools will turn to no one but PE teachers to organise the annual school track competitions.  It will be a joke if we say that we know nothing in that area…

"Woke up this morning with a funny feeling…  wasn’t really sure what it’s all about; but I felt like I was disappearing,  so I went to the mirror to check it out… I said - Here I am, here I am, here I am; but why do I feel like the Invisible Man???"

Well, I didn’t really feel this way THIS MORNING; but I sure did yesterday evening, after a wretched and unsuccessful meeting with my Diploma cohort on the required Residential Camp we have to attend from 8 - 11 May 06.  We broke up the meeting abruptly without any decision made, perhaps due to the fact that it was getting real late.  Or perhaps my classmates didn’t feel the need to make a decision, yet, though the deadline for appointing an activity committee for the camp is only one or two days away - maybe they didn’t feel the pressure or need yet to make decisions…  Anyhow, they were leaving the meeting one by one (due to whatever reason they may have) and more wanted to leave (when I boiled over), making it not-so meaningful for decisions to be made then.

After that, EDMUND (who is two years older and, rightly so, wiser) spoke to me, pointing out that my dictative and authoritative way of pushing the class make decisions probably belonged more to another world outside - in a military world, or perhaps a world where making decisions almost immediately mattered - and perhaps it wasn’t suited in school where they did not know too what they wanted at that point of time.  He said that it is not fair for me that I did what I did and hurting whatever dynamics I had with the class.

I cooled down as he spoke to me to realise how immature (yes, at age 28!) I had acted, by flaring up (no, not too badly, I hope) in front of my mates.  Yes, and he is right too, that these "kids" do not know what they wanted and it wouldn’t help if I forced a committee to be formed then - they may not support the committee wholeheartedly for their decisions made later.  I should just sit back and watch events unfold.  They will be forced to make decisions when there is no time left.  Things will be done that way, although I’d prefer having lots of time to make decisions - in my words, to know yourselves and who are you enemies are early so that you can plan better to fight the battle at hand…

EDMUND correctly pointed out that there are a lot of ways to lead.  Yes, I know this well.  But yet, I couldn’t apply it when it mattered.  For me, a good leader leads by example (walks-the-talk).  He is a facilitator.  He cared for his teammates and is always able to get down and dirty with his teammates when the situation required them to.  There are many apt figures who epitomises great leaders, in history or the current world.

EDMUND offered that he sees this bunch of our classmates as people who are willing to support their leader of their choice rather than the way I saw it.  Different ways of leadership are required at the different situations.  My mates probably saw me as someone who wants to get things done at all costs, while I cared little about how they felt.  He said I should probably change the way I volunteered to work for the class and channel my efforts to people who matters to me (my family, my wife and unborn baby).

Sure, many of my classmates offered comforting words and words of encouragement later (AFTER I had text them to apologise for my earlier outburst, haha).  I think they can still see that I was worried by the state of affairs and was working / leading the cohort to make decisions in view of the upcoming deadline.  I cannot say that I wasted my time and effort.  I just learnt yet another invaluable lesson in my exploration in life.  (”_)