My exploration in life… (diary for baby!)

Sigh!  I lose, whichever way you look at it!  One of my classmates, MARIE, approached me today and asked why I had not given out some Growth and Motor Development notes to the whole class, instead, she claimed I had I was said to have kept them for myself…  =(

I took a few minutes trying to find out which notes she spoke about.  I finally realised that she referred to a stack that I got from JONATHAN after my return from NEW YORK.  Fortunately, YONGSHENG was there studying with me and can defend me - explaining that we understand from JON the notes were NOT COMPULSORY and we could print them IF WE WISHED TO.  We did print them in the end, but now, others think that I had failed my job as a class rep; instead, I was said to had kept them for myself so that I could score better in the exams…

I had tried my best to do as much as I can for the class.  I shared whatever notes and info whenever I can with at least small groups of us (didn’t want to share everything I found as I did not want to be labeled "haw lian" as well).  Sigh, isn’t it difficult living life?!  MARIE suggested I should explain things to the whole class after I did so to her, saying that, "others know about it, Ryan…"  Ha, I think I should just keep things as it is and let them request for a change of class reps if they are against me doing it - I will gladly give up the post to someone willing.  In fact, I was half thinking of requesting for a change too…

I attended two wedding dinners over the weekend - a Chinese customary one (BENNIE, a former colleague was the groom) and an Indian wedding dinner at a temple (LAKSHMI, a fellow trainee teacher and project mate).  For the Indian wedding, it was my first experience at one and an eye opener.  Found the latter event to be a much shorted affair - lasting for about less than two hours (wedding rituals and dinner inclusive!).

BENNIE was quite drunk by the end of his dinner (he couldn’t stand without leaning back on the wall during the farewell handshake).  I love catching up with old friends at such dinners - was sitting with my old colleagues in my last unit and love the banter with DORA, STEVEN, ERIC, AIHUI, JESSIE & husband.  I treasure meeting up with them - people I had spent quite a bit of my time with in the last few years.  JESSIE was very helpful - explaining to YEN what she should look out for during pregnancy, plus offering her baby cot to us.  Will go collect it from her soon…  =)

My examinations have ended today!  Though that may seem the start of holidays for many, it just doesn’t seem too much like that for me - we are continuing to try to finish our service learning project as soon as we can.  In fact, we are going to the targeted school - PIONEER PRIMARY SCHOOL tomorrow to find out if our proposal was viable, and when we can start our hands on in the school.

YEN is now 12 weeks pregnant!  =)  I’m going to busy myself this time with trying to find baby names for our unborn child.  We have yet to know if YEN is expecting a boy or a girl (though she keeps telling me she has a strong hunch that it is a boy), and so I’ll try hard to produce two names I wish for our child to have, one for each sex.  Hehe, how exciting…  =)

I received a very interesting telephone call on the past Monday, one looking for "Lieutenant Ryan".  I answered that I have left service for a few months.  The person on the other end of the line introduced himself as a certain "Bernard", an NSman whom I had met over some event for my last unit in SAF in 2003 or 2004.  Yes, I had called "Bernard" up to represent my previous unit at some Army carnival after I’d met him and spoke to him as he came back to the unit for some event I cannot recall now.  He explained that he called as he thought I was still in service, and that he was going back to the unit for "reservist" on Wednesday.  He thought he could meet up with me as he didn’t know too many other people, but found that I was very friendly and approachable during our last meeting.  He was surprised that I left the Army, and we chatted for about another half-an-hour before we hang up.  It was funny as we hardly knew each other, lest a meeting.  Half the time during the call, I was expecting him to change the topic and tell me that he was selling something (like insurance, or multi-level marketing product, etc), would like to meet up with me to discuss further.  Haha, didn’t know that there are people other than me who will call friends with no hidden agenda behind our backs.  =)

YEN had talked to me earlier this week that she is so apologetic, she has not been a dutiful wife since we have gotten married.  I laughed it off and asked was does it mean to be a dutiful wife?  Ha, times are different - wives no longer need to wait for husbands to return home to them, take off their shoes for them and wait on them.  I’m happy as long as we’re living life happily and are contented.

There is a new show on Ch56 (SCV) on Mondays and Tuesdays on Japanese girls playing volleyball.  I caught the first two episodes, and will carry on watching when I can.  Hey; I opted for volleyball in the next semester and better try to pick up something from the show!  Haha!

And yes, we’ve bought YEN a strawberry flavoured toothpaste!  She prefers it to the minty one we’ve been using, saying that it causes there to want to throw up after brushing her teeth.  Hope she will find no problems with this one!  (”/)

After the paper last Thursday, I haven’t been able to pick up the momentum of studying again.  Ha.  Perhaps I was plain lazy.  I just wasted the weekend lazing around with YEN, sleeping most of the time away, if not watching the TV.

I did go back to NIE to do some studies, but I didn’t find that too beneficial, really.  And it was the second half of the Friday.  The first part?  Spent a little time looking at my Grammar test result in which I scored a B- (thought I could do a little better, really).  Most of us scored around the B-ish region, so I guess I shouldn’t be too disappointed.

Finally did manage to speak to my course coordinator, Assoc Prof Michael Koh, on whether I should make a decision on making a switch on being a PE trainee teacher.  We spent more than an hour sipping coffee at the cafe on the third floor of the library and talking.  I spent most of the time letting him understand my background and situation.  Of course he gave me much of his thoughts, points of views on things and advises too.  Was interesting to see his point of view - perhaps something I have never looked at / into previously.

We concluded by coming to agreement - I didn’t exactly know what I want now (on whether I want to be a PE teacher, a teacher teaching EMS (Eng, Math, Sci), or perhaps I didn’t want to be a teacher at all!) and it was perhaps best if I did not make any switch at this point.  He suggested that I take some time to think about things and see where I should go after my bond is over.  I think I may not be able to find any sort of an answer even if I thought long and hard about what I want in life; so it is best things are kept at status quo at the moment…

Was reading the papers of the past week on Sunday.  Ha - I don’t seem to have time daily to read the papers.  And it has become a habit now to read the week’s paper at the end of the week.  Read about some interesting issues on the papers:

-  Three men told to remove pictures they took of their experience in the Army from the Internet, as it may infringe some privacy acts of MINDEF.

-  Famous musician who ran away from serving the nation finally returns to Singapore at near age 50, and got away with a fine.  Made me think about it and question the morals displayed in these people, and about a question asked earlier during one of the lessons - "Should we exempt males who show promise at sports from National Service?"  A no-no for me.  What does everyone think?

-  Argentinean players refusing to swap shirts with English players after a friendly match where Argentina lost 3-2.  And the many ways in other sports where players tried to distract their opponents during competitive sports.  Ungentlemanly?  Lack of gamesmanship?  Don’t we all do it in the name of fun / gain some form of unfair advantage, sometimes?

Food for thought…  Wish me luck for this Wednesday’s paper!  =)

Phew!  The first examination paper in my life in NIE is over!  There was so much unrest over this paper, as the lecturer, Assoc Prof Michael Koh, told us he expected so much of us.  He wants to see facts, inquiry and critique.  He was to see quoted examples in the form of news we read.  He want to see logical arguments…

In fact, everyone did not know what to expect of the exam paper.  But the moment I turned over the question paper, the questions I read were exactly what he had been quoting to us as possible exam questions the whole six weeks long he lectured our group.  As i had religiously been taking notes during his lessons, there shouldn’t have been any problem.  I say - shouldn’t!  Why?  Because he hardly gives us any answers.  He encourages us to think, saying that we are tertiary students, and he want to see our viewpoint, our arguments.  Sigh, it totally didn’t help as I kind of "blacked out" immediately I sat down on my supposed seat in the exam hall.  Opps!  The result?  I just wrote what I could, recalling bits and pieces of facts along the way.  I finished the 2 and 1/2 hour paper half an hour earlier, and left the hall.  Ha, we’ll see the results at the end of the year…

One more paper for me - Growth and Motor Development!  This doesn’t seem any easier too.  And we’ve got, let’s see - five full days to study for it.  I’m one of the luckier ones who opted for the English subjects, as there is no Grammar exam, but a mathematics one tomorrow afternoon.  So it gives me a little time to start earlier too.

YEN seems particularly tired these days.  At least this week - hitting the bed almost after dinner.  Perhaps that is the reason why her tummy has grown a little; the baby doesn’t grow this early!  We’ve been joking about what names to give our unborn precious, and Christian names, too!  Sounds fun, ya?  =)

Everyone who knows about the good news have been very happy for us.  We’re so glad this is happening.  When I’m alone, I’ve been secretly thinking in me - how will I be teaching our little one when he / she grows up?  What kind of a parent will I be??

Almost a week has passed after YEN and I returned from our trip from New York, and finding out that YEN is pregnant.  I’ve received many congratulatory SMSes and greetings from friends.  That has added to my excitement of YEN and I being parents-to-be.  YEN thought about possible names we can give our child; I on the other hand, am too worried about my exams in the coming week to think of them.  Promised YEN that I’ll look into that in my semester break.  =)

I have been studying a little with YONG SHENG in NIE during one of the mornings of the past week.  Seeing that he is kind of ready for the examination of Thursday really puts me to shame.  He is now just revising, while I’m busy studying, trying to put things together.  I won’t be surprised that he tops the class in most of the modules that we are doing.  And that he eventually be given a chance to move on directly to take another two years of studies to get a degree.  He deserves it, really.  It’s early days in our current two years’ diploma course, but there are already a few people that I think are so deserving to move on to take a degree after this.

Over the past week, YEN and I too, have been trying to figure out and get used to the early stage of her pregnancy.  From trying to learn and adhere to the types of food she should be avoiding, to her improving appetite, to her wanting to take snacks in between meals.  We are coping well with these…  She told me that the minty taste in the toothpaste may be causing her to feel a little nauseous after she brushes her teeth.  I couldn’t find a small tube of toothpaste to let her try if it reduces the nausea.  Will try get one soon…

We have to think of the money we are currently spending, as the birth of our baby next year will no doubt put a dent in our finances.  Especially so now that I’m drawing this meager pay as a trainee teacher.  Oh well, I can’t complain too much.  Just have to bite my lip and try to get by.

And oh yah, I was expecting some people to think that my marriage with YEN could have been a "shotgun marriage" as we had only ROM on 7 Jun this year.  Haha!  That’s why I took care to mention that she was scanned 9.6 weeks pregnant.  If people bothered to count, it means that our child was conceived in end August / early September.  So it’s not a loveless or a "forced" marriage!  But, I don’t want to care what others perceive our marriage to be, as long as we continue to love each other like we’ve been doing since we’ve gotten together.  =)

Good news!  Good news! YEN is pregnant with our first child! A great way to mark my 50th blog here!  The doctor said the EDD (Expected Delivery Date) is 9 Jun 06.  =)

YEN and I returned from New York yesterday. Okok - the reason I went to New York on short notice was because we had suspected that she was pregnant before she left, (she went for a scan but could not confirm as there was no fetal heartbeat - it was in her early stage of pregnancy) and she called me towards the end of her stay to tell me that she was facing some complication (that I’ll rather not divulge).  You can imagine how panicky she got and how worried I was. 

Thus, I went to make sure she was alright, and I had to ease her return by helping her carry her two big suitcases and two handcarry bags plus a laptop back to Singapore.  Gosh, I cannot imagine that she could bring all those back on her own!

I accompanied YEN to SGH for a scan this morning and the doctor has confirmed that she is 9.6 weeks pregnant with our first child!  Hurrah!  All these are exciting times for us!  And YEN just reminded me that the Lunar New Year is approaching - meaning that we have to give out red packets for the first time in our lives!  Haha!

I sent out quite a few SMSes after confirming her pregnancy to some of my friends this whole day.  And I received many well wishes.  =)  I’m so glad that so many of my friends are very happy for us.

And I went back to my last Army unit this afternoon, on request of DORA, my ex-chief clerk.  She’s a very nice lady, plus I always want to help out my friends when I can.  So all the more I should help her out when I can.  Actually, it didn’t take me much - it was just to clarify some stuff to the new lady who took over the appointment I vacated to STEVEN (he is going ORD!).  I’ve come to realise - time really flies; our baby will be born before we know it!  We have to think of names for our baby!

The trip to New York is coming to an end as I write.  Though I haven’t been able to do much studying here as I hoped to (well, I brought over with me two thick textbooks and a lot of notes okay…), the thought of seeing YEN physically safe and sound is enough.  And heck, I got to taste her culinary skills here!

So tomorrow night at 11 p.m. (New York time), we’re going to board the return plane back home.  We’ll touch down at 6-ish a.m.  YEN and I reckon it’s a bad time, so we won’t want to trouble EDDIE to come fetch us.  Yeah, we’ll make it back home ourselves.  And I’ll accompany YEN to SGH for her medical check-up the next day.

I think I will go back to NIE on Tuesday to visit my course coordinator and lecturer, Assoc Prof MICHAEL KOH, on Tuesday afternoon to discuss about whether I should stay on, en-route to be a P.E. teacher.  My point is, really, that I needn’t stay on in P.E. to be a good teacher.  I have really found some stuff in this course a little demanding, especially that I didn’t give a hoot over the local sports scene before this.

I mentioned to YEN earlier that this trip to NEW YORK is the most "bo-chup" one I’ve ever had.  I mean - I would have taken the maps to find out which are the places I can go to, what are the things I want to see.  This especially, being my first trip out of Asia.  But YEN also pointed out correctly that I did not want to come here now in the first place, if not for her presence and discomfort here earlier.  Here, I’ve fully immersed myself into a role of a "kept man", haha.  I’ve been sleeping a little late, waking up for minimal reading, a little TV, mostly for food and cozy times with YEN.  Think I can lead this life forever, if I had a choice…  ha!

The drivers here in New York must be really highly skilled.  I say this as I’ve witnessed the many high-speed driving and lane changes.  All these without accidents.  Sure, there had been many a honks, but I haven’t seen a tow truck to tow away accident vehicles.  But it may get a little worrying here - I hear so many police / ambulance sirens a day (at least one per hour!)…  perhaps it’s only in New York that I’ll hear these…

Hey, most important thing - YEN seems to be a-okay physically!  =)

And tonight marks the first time she went to the kitchen and cooked for me - a dish of fried rice (though it was a little too salty, I still love it =P)! 

Hey!  It’s 9 p.m. here in New York!  My mobile phone’s and YEN’s notebook’s times show 10 a.m. back home in Singapore.  I took a 12.05 p.m. flight on Tuesday afternoon after Monday morning’s Grammar test and submitting the 70% weightage for Education Psychology in the afternoon.

The flight from our sunny island took approximately 18 long hours for me to reach my destination airport.  I used this time to catch up on movies that I did not catch when they were showing in the cinemas (actually, come to think of it, it would mean about all minus one of two movies made that year!).  In the end, I finished almost nine movies!  There was The Cinderella Man, War of the Worlds, Must Love Dogs, American Love Story, to name a few.

Upon touch down NEWARK (EWR) airport , I was admiring / spotting differences between home and here in The States.  People here (excluding Asians and those of mixed-parentage, whereby one parent is Asian) are visibly taller and bigger-sized.  We already know this, together with the differences in skin, hair and eye colours, from the American / European movies.  They operate in a left-hand drive, like Taiwan.  It seems like only back home in Singapore, you will be able to find many rules and regulations I found differing with the driving habits - laws involving the presence of red-light cameras and the need for a handset back home while driving and chatting on the phone.  Tipping is mandatory - 10 - 15% of the price you pay for their services rendered.

There were hardly any motorcycles noticed on the highway roads just now.  I was beginning to wonder if motorcycles were outlawed / banned in The States, or the Americans actually invented an ingenious way to keep them away from cars to reduce chances of accidents between these vehicles.  So I was looking for a separate lane for motorcycles - beside, on the top or at the bottom of the highways.  I felt a little only better when I saw one scooter on the roads on my trip from the airport to Yen’s rented apartment.  Ha - this was completely different from my imagination of many Harley Davidsons’ chopper bikes filling the roads in U.S.A.  However, my (sometimes) eagle-trained eyes noticed several choppers and at least one sportsbike parked by the side of the road.

Years ago, I had the intention of watching a live NBA game in one of the many well-furnished stadiums, and soaking into the atmosphere of a WWE match.  Well, I may not have the chance to do so this trip.  But I did promise my classmate, Shawn "Michaels" Peh, to keep a lookout for his namesake’s action figurine.  Think I will spend sometime to walk around the streets downstairs tomorrow…  =)