My exploration in life… (diary for baby!)

Sitting here in the NIE Library now - makes me wonder if people these days understand the fact that the Library is supposed to be kept a silent as possible.  I find people around me doing group work, group learning, assignments, studying etc.  I’m fine with all these being done.  On the condition that they do not disturb anyone.  If they want to teach their friends / discuss about topics, they can always use the designated discussion rooms in the library.  Or they can use other places!

Think it doesn’t help in the definations of keeping it a silent place, now that they introduce cafes, selling drinks so that people can have a cuppa, in the vacinity.  People are bound to discuss whatever, someties raising their voices, right??  Sigh  Call me nosey?  Pragmatic??  Whatever!

I had two course mates sufferring from two separate, freak accidents during their learning of the game of rugby.  Sumiko left the pitch with a badly swollen left foot.  And poor Rowena!  She was operated on last night for her injured arm, and now warded at SGH.  I went ot visit her last night, but she was in the Operating Theatre.  So i didn’t get to see her.

So is sports and PE safe for teaching?  I can’t imagine school children trying to learn the game, and keep getting injured, to the extent that would need operations galore…  But they have to be taught the games for their possible enjoyment later, right?  They need to be taught how to play, so that they can play similar games too later, right?  They need to be taught, so they can associate themselves with the moves, so that they can use them n real-life situations later, right??

Am i in a course that is teaching the essential and correct things??  Hmmm…

I sat down this few days and while taking a break from reading my many notes, this thought struck me - if only i had been more prudent with my spending and careful with my money, i would have been in a much better off position, financially…

I mean - i haven’t been frugal with money all along.  This brought about the loads of CDs (300+ English and Mandarin ones) and Chinese comics (i can’t count the numbers - too many to count!).  And not forgetting the money i’ve lent out without getting them returned.  I had earlier lent this buddy of mine $7500 as i really take him as a very good friend (no names here as i still hope he does not intend to betray my trust and this is all a, uh, misunderstanding).  I didn’t think twice when he asked for the loan, and he doesn’t respond to my SMS now.  Sigh, what cost to see through friends.  I still hope that i’m wrong about him, though.

I met Fengling in the NIE Library on Thurday afternoon.  She was there during an hour’s break and i was waiting for time to past and reading my notes before going to NTU’s stadium (i was helping out as a tester in the NTU fitness test).  I ended chatting with her more than reading.  Had a good chat, as we seldom have the chance to talk very much.  Enjoyed talking to her.  =)

Oh yah, i saw two friends taking the fitness test from 4 - 8 p.m. (registration started only from 5 p.m., though; a real inefficient time).  Eugene Leow (knew him from my time in the Army) came and ran the 2.4 km and did a good 9 min 44 sec (GOLD Award time by a second!), and Satish (from NIE and a classmate’s boyfriend) did the fastest time of the day (8 min 17 sec).  I’m proud of them. =)

My brother, Eddie, will be celebrating his 25th birthday tommorrow - happy birthday, bro!  Welcome to a quarter century of your life and my you see through the rest of your century in good health!  =)

Have gotten our March back after paying a hefty amount for the excess of its repairs.  Well, it is so much better than paying all of the $10k+ repairs!  It seems a little queer now that i’m driving her (the steering seems a tad loose now), but i’ve got her back, and continue to enjoy the convenience it brings (though it is at our pocket’s expense…).

I finally met Fengling in NIE today!  =)  Saw her briefly during lunch in the canteen…  I wonder if i will see more familiar faces here.

Being outspoken about my views (told i may, and that’s a big MAY, be quiet normally), i constantly want to write about my views / doubts / feelings.  But i always fall prey to my own forgetfulness and soon forget about them (luckily for everyone who thinks the email on "Nianzu_Ryan has updated his friendster blog!" is a bother!)…  ha!

Yup, i recall wanting to write on this earlier (which i forgot about it) - on metrosexuals, sensitive new age guys (SNAG), etc.  There are so many of them that i fail to catch up on the terms and the meanings.  Whatever happened to the simple terms - hetero, bi and homos?

The return from the term break (or assignment week!) saw the beginning of another subject being taught.  It’s another of those Education Psychology subjects (i’m already studying at least one now).  And that too, meant more money spent on new textbooks.  Yup, that another $60+ bucks spent on the books.  I’ve bought at least four textbooks costing more than $200 already!  Sigh, and they don’t increase my meagre pay…  Work is piling up here in NIE, with so much group work, individual assignments and readings to complete; i doubt i’ll ever have the time to finish reading all the textbooks!

We heard that some guy attempted to take his own life yesterday in the afternoon in NIE, wanting to jump from one of the blocks here.  Heard he was rescued by SCDF guys.  Don’t know why he attempted to jump, but i do know that if there was much more work assigned to us, some of us would not be able to handle the pressure and will think of following his footsteps soon…

Gosh!  Wednesday is almost over - half my week’s break has past, and i haven’t done too much for my assignments!  Not forgetting a Grammar test at 9:30 a.m. on the first day School re-opens!  Opps!

I’ve called Lindy from Tan Chong to check when i can collect our Nissan March, she checked and replied that I should be able to do so before the end of this week.  Hurrah!  I can finally send Yen to work again!  No more squeezing in the trains and buses!

Half of September is through - which means i’ve started on my new life with MOE for about one and a half months already.  Sure, i still have self-doubts, and i still ask myself if this job is the correct one i’ve chosen; guess i won’t be able to provide that answer to myself so soon…

I met Adrian, Andre and Rozali in Jurong West Primary School this morning for one of the assignments.  This one we started required us to study into movements of two pairs of boys and girls - a boy and a girl each in the primary school and the other two in secondary school.  And Adrian’s kids from his contract teaching at the school, Mark and Kitty - both Primary Teo kids, were our subjects.  Kitty is sooo cute!  I mean it!  Drats, i regret not taking her picture to show you here; she is a little chubby, small-sized, so cheerful…  cute!

Oh, did you catch the news yesterday - of two bloggers being summoned to court for their racist remarks on the Net?  Hmm, i knew this day was coming, sooner or later.  I shall be ever so careful on writing about others!  So much for "freedom of speech"!

Another body found, chopped up to pieces.  There had been 31 earlier cases here since independence, i think i read from the Zaobao.  Is Singapore not safe anymore?  Will it deter people from wanting to come to work or study here?  I think there is definitely going to be some ill-effects from all these…  11 Sep passed somewhat quietly this year.  Perhaps it was overshadowed by the local murders’ news (not forgetting the Constance Song saga, which has yet to come to a close) and the very recent and depressing Hurricane Katrina.  Sigh.  End of the world, anyone thinks?

My orientation group mates are meeting up for tea this afternoon at Spinelli’s beside The Heeren.  We are utilising the woucher we won during orientation for the best flowers made.  This was mostly thanks to Angie.  She really can consider opening a origami shop; i mean - we made those two bunches of flowers from paper and some fallen leaves!

My mother-in-law just returned from USA last week, safe and sound, thankfully.  Yen told her about the accident i met, with our March still out-of-action.  She highlighted that we are lucky, since Adrian, Hadi and I escaped unhurt.  Yen is leaving for The States the next month for some attachment programme.  She will be there for about three weeks, and will be further bonded with SingHealth after she comes back.  By her return, i would still be having my exams in NIE…  =(

Eddie’s birthday is approaching.  Not sure what to get him as an elder brother.  It’s always like this every year.  I’m glad he seems to be happy doing what he does currently - selling cars under the make of HYUNDAI.  Sure, there are ups and downs, but he told me over our discussion earlier that he wants to do this, at least for a few years as this was his interest.  If it works out fine, then well and good.  Else, he can always look for some other job.  He’ll still be young…

The day started with the few of my course mates going to the Library to study.  Yeah, everyone is taking our first test in NIE (ok ok, second for those who take Maths) seriously.  But why shouldn’t everyone?  This test accounts for around 45% (if i’m not wrong) of our final grades.

We proceeded for our only lesson of the day (a two period one) in the MPH.  It is Principle of games, taken by Dr Teo-Koh and Dr Patricia Wong (whoa!  Bears the same name as my mum).  We were taught some more net games, and told to pair in twos while we kept some sports equipment.  I was too busy keeping the equipment, and found myself without any partner again.  Isn’t that pathetic?!  Shantini, who had her shoulder / arm injured just a few weeks ago had to spare me some embarassment by stepping forward to declare that she would join me at the games, as i didn’t have a partner and that she didn’t feel what we wee going to do would affect her and her shoulder / arm too much.  Poor me!

All this took place before a freak accident occured - Dr Teo-Koh somehow collided with my classmate Chris.  Chris escaped unfazed, while Dr Teo-Koh remained motionless on the ground for a little while.  I only reliased this when i found the MPH quiet suddenly.  We finally managed to gather around Dr Teo-Koh, and got her medical attention from one of the offices nearby.  Got some ice-packs too, to try to help her stop the swell, and numb the pain on her head.  Dr Wong called lessons to an early end because of this incident.

I went to Steven’s place for a BBQ session in the evening.  It was my former office’s cohesion day and BBQ, and they invited me back for the later part.  So happy to see them again - MAJ LEE, Mdm DORA, STEVEN, the DXOs and the boys.  Being in the SAF for a while, i couldn’t help but found myself more at home with them than my current course / class mates.  Sigh; i’m not sure how i can change this…

Had an enjoyable evening there.  Mdm DORA brought some wines along, and i witnessed KIM JIN getting high (you know the feeling before getting drunk?).  Heard from them this scene had been enacted earlier during a certain, earlier night’s out already.  Had a good laugh over it…  =)

Sigh…  it’s a week before term break; i’m beginning to find more and more cracks between my classmates/schoolmates and me.  Is it that i really don’t belong there?  m i too egoistic?  Do i think that i know everything, and ignore the feelings of others, over-confident?

Reading through the testimonials my friends have given me these while, i thought that i’m not too bad a person to know.  Not i have doubts.  I’m doubting that they were written, but not meant for me???

I think i shall change the way i have behaved since i’ve gone into NIE.  I shall just keep quiet at everything (whatever that i can help), and just be a nobody.  That way, i won’t trample on anyone else’s toes unknowingly.  Yup, i think that shall do…  =(

Our March’s repairs was estimated to be over $10K.  And i’ll only be collecting it in about two weeks.  For the past week, i’ve been relying on Adrian to chaffeur me to and from NIE daily.  He’s a nice guy, married (his wife teaches in PIONEER PRIMARY SCHOOL), 30 years of age.  So we can relate to more things when we talk.  And the best thing is, he stays just walking distance from my place.  I seem to have found another nice friend here.

Just received  call from Julian (Julian is from S1 Br, HQ 2 SIB) on Thursday or so.  He asked me if i was going to be free on the coming Thursday, to join the guys and girls from office for BBQ.  I miss them.  Probably missing SAF, after working there for years already. Especially now, when i’m experiencing not-so-good-times with the mates from NIE.  And i’m not of a higher rank now in NIE, and everyone is supposed to be equal…  But no, i don’t regret leaving, as i need to move on.  Yen says that i should just treat SAF as a fond memory, and try my best to blend in with the people i’m with now.  =(

Yen will be leaving for the States next for a clinical practicum.  That will be for almost a month, come October to early November.  She had just returned from Jurong Point, from her shopping for clothes to keep her warm when she is there.  Sigh, more time to spend apart…